Thirds...

Last week C had a birthday. Unlike last year, C didn't ask for a theme cake. Instead, he seemed to care more about flavors, and asked for a chocolate and strawberry cake. So I made him this...

Yes...that's a "6" made out of strawberries.

I know.

I thought it must be a mistake too. After all, I can't possibly have a SIX year old! Because just yesterday he was this little guy!

And now, he's a kindergartener who matter-of-factly informed me, "Hey Mom! In 3 years, you can make me this cake again! Because when you turn it around, it's a 9!"

Only 3 years from 9?!? That alone was enough to give me pause, and then I realized that he's already one third of the way to 18. One third of the way to spreading his wings and going off to college.

Don't mind me when I hide in the corner and cry a little...

Some vacation!

Last week was school vacation. It was not among the best we've had.

Why not? Let's see...

...Hubby traveled for work for the first 3 days of vacation, leaving me home with the 3 boys. Which would have been a challenge even under perfect conditions.

...As soon as Hubby left, I started feeling sick. It got worse and worse, so the next day I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with strep throat.

...Baby A decided that this would be the perfect time to experiment with never sleeping longer than 45 minutes at a time. Apparently he does not believe that people need rest to recover from an illness.

...I discovered that it is very difficult to manage 3 children alone when one can barely swallow or raise her voice above a whisper. And when one has not slept in 2 days.

...The day after Hubby returned from his trip, C was diagnosed with strep throat. O also started with a fever, so he's being treated too.

...When I finally started feeling better (thank goodness for Amoxicillin!!!), I spent the rest of the week on a laundry and Lysol binge.

Yup! I think I need a vacation from this vacation!!!

Valentine

Of course, two minutes after I put this shirt on Baby A, he spit up all over it.

And then he peed on it.

And now he's wearing something else.

Yeah. I'm feeling the love...

Middle Child

Since the arrival of A, O has obviously become our middle child. Knowing that lots of people think of this as a negative, I started hyping up the coolness of this position months ago. "You know, C only gets to be a big brother, and A only gets to be a little brother, but YOU get to be both. Isn't that so awesome?!" I told him over and over. But he was really just excited to finally be a big brother like C, and didn't seem to really care about also being a little brother. So I didn't think my propaganda campaign worked. Until this afternoon.

When A woke up, O came running over and started jumping up and down frantically.

O: "Hi Baby A! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

Me: "Wow, you're always so excited when he's awake! You really like having a little brother, don't you?"

O: "Yeah! He's the little brother, and I'm the big."

Me: "That's right."

O: "But not the biggest. That's C. A is the littlest and C is the biggest, and I'm the medium brother."

Me: "You mean the middle brother? You're right, because you are a big brother and a little brother at the same time. Isn't that great?!"

O: "No, Mom! Not the middle brother! The medium! C is the biggest, and A is the littlest, and I am the mediumest!" 

Hopefully he'll always be this excited about it!

Sure hope that Phil was right!!

We've had a major snowstorm every week since A was born, and today we're on snow day number 4.

We need an early spring!!

The rest...

"Wow!" the midwife on call said. "Your water broke again?! It's so unusual for that to happen 3 times!" She told me to come on into Labor & Delivery, but that I didn't need to rush right in since third babies tend to come a little slower than second babies. But after the crazy labor I had the last time, I wasn't going to risk it! So, as soon as my mother arrived to watch the boys, we headed off to the hospital. During the drive over, I was hemming and hawing over what to do about an epidural. I had one with C's birth, but had an unplanned unmedicated birth with O. I had been debating the whole pregnancy about whether or not I should try for a med-free birth this time because my recovery with O had been so easy. "Why don't you just see what happens?" Hubby suggested. "But, I think you could do it without meds again if you want to."

Since I had not had a recent internal exam, I had no idea if I was dilated or not. Having no evidence to the contrary, I was optimistic that things might progress quickly like last time. So, when I arrived at the hospital I told the nurse I would like to try to deliver without an epidural.  But when I was finally examined, the midwife told me I was only 3cm dilated and about 50% effaced.
"Really?!"  I asked.
"We still have some work to do!" the midwife announced cheerfully.  I was not full of cheer.

On the drive over, I had convinced myself that I'd be at least 7-8cm, and having the baby in the next 30 minutes. Now that non-medicated birth was seeming like less of a good idea. I still wanted to try to deliver naturally, but by midnight, instead of picking up, my contractions had slowed down markedly. After speaking with the on call OB, we agreed to wait until 3AM  (6 hours after my water had broken) to see if things would pick up and start progressing again. If not, she would start Pitocin to augment my labor at that time. I tried sitting on a birthing ball to see if that would get things moving again, and after a while my contractions did pick up again. Soon I was feeling quite uncomfortable and was feeling a lot more rectal pressure with each contraction. Noting these changes, the nurse asked me if I wanted an epidural, but again, I was on the fence. I was quite uncomfortable, but maybe things were finally moving along?  She suggested that we have the OB do another internal exam to see what kind of progress I had made. I was so sure that the amount of pressure I was feeling was a great sign, that it was a shock to hear that I was only 4cm and still 50% effaced. "WHAT?!" I thought to myself, and immediately told my nurse, "I feel like a failure but I want the epidural!! If I'm feeling this much pressure and I'm only 4 cm, I'll never make it! I wonder why things aren't moving along this time?" 

The nurse reassured me that the length of third labors typically end up being somewhere between the first and the second labors, rather than being the fastest of the three. "I had an epidural for my 3rd baby, after going natural for my second too," she said. "I think it's hard to labor the third time if your second was so fast, because you have the expectation that things will be easy again. And then when it's not as quick, you get so discouraged. That's what happened to me!"  That made me feel better, and once I made my peace with the idea, I was excited to get some pain relief. I thought I would have to wait a long time, but within 5 minutes the anesthesiologist was there to start the process. While he was putting in the epidural, my whole body started shaking violently.
"What's the matter?" Hubby asked, concerned.
"I don't know. I can't stop shaking! Is it a reaction to the epidural?" I asked the anesthesiologist. But he and the nurse assured me that it was not and that the shakes were probably a sign of labor progressing.
"It's a good thing!" the nurse said cheerfully. But I wasn't feeling very good. The epidural had relieved the abdominal cramping, but I was still having awful rectal pressure.
"Hmmm..." the anesthesiologist said. "Still quite uncomfortable, huh? Let's top you off with some Fentanyl." But that didn't relieve the pressure either. In fact, I was getting more and more uncomfortable instead of less.
"It feels like right before I delivered O!" I said to Hubby. "There's so much pressure and now a sharp pain!"
"It's probably still just the position of the baby," the nurse said. "But let's get the doc to examine you and see where you are."

So the on call OB came back to check me. This time I was sure she would say I was only 5 cm. After all, I had been 4 cm not long before. But instead, she said brightly, "Yup! Your baby is right here! Would you like to start pushing?" And so I did.  15 minutes later, at 2:55AM, baby A made his entrance. I couldn't help but chuckle. Of course he was born 5 minutes before the time that the OB had planned to start pitocin. And immediately after I got the epidural that I agonized over and might not have needed in the end. That fits my stubborn child mold perfectly. 

But you know what?

He's so worth it!

Baby A: 8lbs, 8oz, 21 inches

The beginning...

Sorry to keep my readers waiting!! It's nice to know there are a few of you out there! Unfortunately, getting a chance to sit down and actually write a coherent thought is difficult these days. But at the moment, the two big boys are in school, and A seems fairly content in his swing, so I'll try to get at least part of his birth story down....

*          *          *

As I entered my 38th week of pregnancy, I was so tired and uncomfortable that I couldn't wait for the baby to be born. Hubby had been joking throughout the pregnancy that I just needed my OB to set an eviction date, and then we would know when the baby would be born. "As soon as she sets the date, you'll know that your water will break the night before." Hubby said. "Because that's what you do. And he'll be born on a Friday, because all our babies are born on Fridays!"  But since we'd relocated after O was born, I was now under the care of a new OB practice, and had no idea what their birthing policies were. Since this baby was also measuring big, estimated to be 9+ lbs at delivery, I tentatively broached the subject of induction with my new OB at my 38 week appt. "Well, this hospital is quite strict about not letting us do any elective inductions before 41 weeks without a medical indication. And a big baby can sometimes be that indication, but you've had large babies before..." my new OB said, her voice trailing off, clearly unwilling to commit to any plan at this point. I left the appointment despondent. Even though I knew she was doing the right thing to let nature take its course, the idea of waiting 3 more weeks for a baby was torture. I had really just wanted her to say firmly, "If you haven't delivered by XYZ date, we'll induce you." I finally admitted to myself that I had bought into Hubby's theory that the baby would be just like his brothers and wait until the absolute last second before making a spontaneous appearance. With no firm end date in sight, psychologically it felt like I was going to be pregnant forever. "With no eviction date, he's never going to come out!!!" I wailed to Hubby. And so, I went into the weekend fully prepared to be back at the office for my 39 week appointment the following week.

It's funny how quickly one's perspective can change. On Sunday morning, O developed a fever and spent most of the day clinging to me. I immediately flipped from wanting to have the baby ASAP to hoping he'd hold off as long as possible. "It's a good thing I'm still not due for another 2 weeks!!" I thought. "Hopefully, this will be a 24 hour bug, and if not, there's still plenty of time for everyone to get healthy before the baby comes. Besides, I have to wait a few more days for Gramma to get here anyway." Originally my MIL had been planning to arrive for a 2 week stay that Monday, and I had it in my head that I could go into labor only once Gramma was here to watch the boys. But then she postponed her flight, and was now arriving on Thursday.  Monday morning O seemed better, and we went through our normal routine. C went off to school and then I brought him to his afternoon swimming lesson.  While at swimming, I noticed that I was having more Braxton Hicks contractions, and that they seemed stronger than before because I was feeling some increased pressure with each contraction. "Maybe the baby is finally dropping down," I thought. "Maybe I really will go into labor soon after MIL arrives on Thursday. Maybe I really will have another Friday baby!!" But then pessimism took over. "Probably not...I bet I won't even have the baby until after Gramma's gone home again! Because she's leaving before I'm 41 weeks pregnant. And I'm not going to get induced before then..."

Unfortunately, by dinner time Monday night, O's fever had returned, and C was lying on the floor also feeling warm. "Uh Oh!" I thought. "I guess C is getting sick too." By the time Hubby got home from work, both boys were clearly under the weather and on their way to bed, and I was curled up on the couch feeling sorry for myself.  Around 9PM, I started feeling very anxious, and Hubby and I had this conversation: 
Hubby: "What's with you? You seem weird."
Me (grumpily): "I'm just tired. And stressed because the boys are sick. This had better be a short lived illness, and you and I had better not get sick, because I really need everyone to be healthy by the time I have the baby! And I'm uncomfortable because I'm feeling more pressure. But my contractions are still totally irregular, so whatever..."
Hubby: "Maybe you should call your doctor? I know you've been contracting for 3 months, but you seem different today."
Me (yelling): "I am not calling the doctor! What would I say?! I haven't even had a contraction in the last half an hour!  I am just stressed out because the kids are sick.  I am going to lie down on the couch and watch TV and try to relax. And the contractions will go away like they always do. Besides, C & O both have fevers, and your mother is not here yet! I am NOT going to have a baby today!  Just leave me alone!"
And so I settled down on the couch to watch the season finale of The Closer.  My rationale clearly hadn't reassured Hubby, but it made me feel better. I was NOT having a baby that day.

If I had been thinking clearly, I would have realized that I had just thrown down the gauntlet and issued a direct challenge to the baby.  I had told him to stay inside for a few more days, until my child care plan was in place and his brothers had recovered from their illnesses. And from previous experience, I should have known that my children never listen to my birth plans. Instead I got about 5 minutes into the show before I realized that my night was going to be very different than I thought.  

"You said you want me to wait until Thursday?" I imagine A was thinking. "Nah. I don't think so."

Because at 9:15PM my water broke.
Again.

Backstory

In order to put A's birth story in perspective, I think I must start with the birth stories of his big brothers. That way you can see the ornery and contrary nature that my boys seem to have from day one...

Almost 6 years ago, towards the end of my pregnancy with C, my OB became concerned that I was measuring too large. A couple of ultrasounds indicated that C looked like he would be 9 1/2 pounds if I made it to 40 weeks. This was plausible because Hubby was over 9lbs when he was born, and big babies seem to run in his side of the family. As the pregnancy progressed, I did not. There were no signs of impending labor, despite the many Braxton Hicks I was having. No dilation, no effacement, and C was still floating high in my belly. As my due date came, my OB recommended a cesarean section to deliver C. As he put it, "I am concerned that there is a reason that he is not dropping down, and I don't want to induce you and try to force him out if he is too big. Because then you two, of all people, will be the ones who end up with a shoulder dystocia." While I wasn't thrilled about the idea of a C section, I wasn't thrilled about trying to force out a humongous, unwilling baby either, so Hubby and I agreed to this plan, and prepared for a C section that Friday morning.

I was a bundle of nerves Thursday night, anxious and excited about finally meeting my baby, but eventually fell asleep. Only to be awoken at 1AM when my water broke.  "What?! This isn't what was supposed to happen!!" I thought and immediately started panicking! On the drive into the hospital, I started having real contractions, and when I got to the hospital I had finally started to dilate and was now 2-3cm.  My OB said "I'm so glad this happened, because I really didn't want to have to do an elective C section on you. Your OR time isn't until 10AM, so let's see how your labor progresses. If it's not going anywhere, then we can still do the C section then, but hopefully we can avoid it!" And by 10AM, I was 7cm, so the new plan was to try a vaginal delivery. C was born at 1:11pm, only 12 hours after my water had broken. It turned out he was only 8lbs 9oz, and he could fit through my pelvis! Even though I had an uncomfortable recovery, after an episiotomy, 3rd degree tear, postpartum hemorrhage, and a brief fainting episode, I was so happy to have avoided a C section!

From then on, we all joked about how what a stubborn baby C had been. It was as if he had been biding his time until he was about to be evicted, and then said "Oh, you think you're going to come and take me out?? Fine. I'll show you! We're doing things my way!"

*          *          *

2 years later, when I was pregnant with O, I had gestational diabetes, so I had weekly ultrasounds and growth scans. O was also measuring large, but this time around no one was really that concerned about it since I had previously birthed a large baby. But two weeks before my due date, O seemed to be a little sluggish on the ultrasound. I mentioned to the perinatologist that he'd seemed to have somewhat decreased movements in the last couple days, still moving, but not as vigorously as previously. The perinatologist was very alarmed and recommended that my OB deliver me immediately since I was already 38 weeks. My OB was much less concerned, and just recommended sending me the hospital for monitoring, which O passed with flying colors. But after a few days of anxious kick counting, and another appointment with the perinatologist who asked "Why hasn't your OB delivered you yet???" and reiterated the increased risks of stillbirth with gestational diabetes, Hubby and I met with my OB for my 39 week appt. Hubby told my OB, "You've got to do something. This perinatologist is making us feel like every day that the baby isn't delivered is a mistake, and it's making us nervous wrecks." Since this time around, I was favorable for induction, having been dilated to 3 cm for 3 weeks already, my OB agreed to induce me that Friday if I hadn't already delivered.  I was worried about being induced, because I wanted things to happen naturally, but I was more worried that something would go wrong if I didn't deliver soon. Hubby kept joking, "Don't worry! I'm sure you'll go into labor right before you're supposed to be induced. Because that's what you do. Our kids just need an eviction date before they'll make a move." I just rolled my eyes at him, and prepared for an induction at the end of the week.

That Thursday night I was too nervous to sleep well and tossed and turned most of the night. At 3AM I felt a pop and jumped out of bed, just before my water broke all over the floor. "You've got to be kidding me!!!" I thought. "Is this really happening again?!?!" I called the on-call OB and let him know what had happened. I wasn't really contracting at that point, so I asked him if I should just come in and meet my regular OB at 6AM (the previously planned induction time). But since it was my second baby, the on-call OB recommended that I come to the hospital just in case my labor progressed quickly. "No rush, but come on in in the next hour or so" he said. So after taking a shower, getting things together, and waking up Gramma to watch C, we headed off to the hospital, arriving about an hour and a half later.  Again, I started contracting on the drive over, and by the time we got to the hospital, I was starting to feel quite uncomfortable. By the time I got through registration and got settled in a labor room about 45 minutes later, I was very anxious. "Something's not right!" I kept telling Hubby. "I'm so uncomfortable and I feel so much pressure!" Hubby, in a misguided attempt to be helpful, said "It can't be that bad..." and pointed to the monitor. "Look! You're not even contracting at all!"  If I could have stopped clutching the side of the bed for dear life, I would have punched him in the face. "No, this is so much worse than when I had C! Something is wrong!" I insisted, so Hubby called for the nurse to ask for an epidural. But at that point, the on-call OB arrived, examined me, and announced that there was no time for an epidural, because I was ready to have the baby right now. "WHAT?!?" I thought. "This wasn't the plan!!!" but at that point I no longer cared. I pushed through just one contraction and O was born at 5:55AM with no medications and no tearing. At 6AM my regular OB strolled into the room, saw me holding my baby, and said, "Why didn't you call me?!?" "I figured I'd still be in labor at 6AM, so I thought you might as well get some sleep." I said. "Who knew the whole thing would take less than 3 hours from start to finish?!"  We all had a good laugh about that, and again joked about how my babies were so ornery and always overturned our best laid plans for their own better ones.

*          *          *

But seriously, only about 1 in 10 women have their water break as the first sign of labor, so what were the odds of that happening twice? And for it to happen the night before our scheduled delivery both times?!?  It couldn't be just coincidence, could it? Through my whole pregnancy with A, I wondered...would it happen again?

A long time ago...

C came home from school today eager to tell us about Martin Luther King Jr.

"Martin Luther King Jr. was a man who lived a LONG time ago...in the 1900s!"

C then went on to report other facts about the civil rights movement and why Martin Luther King Jr. was important to our country, but I just couldn't stop chuckling at that first sentence.

And now I feel old.

Keeping it in perspective...

Both C & O ended up missing an entire week of school with this recent illness, and thus did not have a chance to tell their friends about the arrival of their new baby brother right away. By the time they did make it back to school, clearly other more interesting things had happened...

Me: "C, are you excited to go back to school tomorrow?"

C: "Yes! Hey Mom, maybe it will be my turn to share?!"

Me: "I bet you will get a chance, since you've been out for a week. What do you want to share with your class?"

C: "I know! I'm going to tell them how Daddy and I finally beat the Stormy Shores world in the new DK game."

Me: "Really? ........ You're going to share about Wii games?"

C: "Yeah! Because it was so hard! And we finally beat it!"

Me: "Hmmm...(looking pointedly between C and the baby in my lap)...Isn't there anything else that happened last week that you want to tell your class about?"

C: "Oh, right. The baby. Well, I want to share about that too, but I might only get to share ONE thing!"

Me: "And you think the Wii game is more interesting than having a new baby brother???"

C: "Well, Mom, they are both pretty fun. But that Wii game is REALLY hard!!"

Sigh...

Well, that was a surprise!

After contracting for 12 weeks, I was fully expecting to be overdue, but Baby "A" surprised us all and arrived 10 days ahead of schedule! And thank goodness because he was already 8lbs, 8 oz!

Unfortunately, while the birth was fairly easy on him and me, A's timing didn't work out ideally for everyone else! Gramma missed the birth as her flight from FL wasn't scheduled to arrive until 2 days later, and C and O were also unable to visit us in the hospital because they have been sick with fevers all week. I am thankful to be home with all 3 boys now, but it was not the homecoming I envisioned, as I have been working hard to keep the boys away from the baby so he doesn't get sick as well. I can't wait until everyone is healthy again and I can break out the the "big brother/little brother" shirts for some photo ops!

Hopefully I'll get a few minutes to write down A's birth story before I forget the details! I'm finding that "mommy brain" is even worse the 3rd time around!

What a year!

It's been almost a year since I started this blog. Looking at the stats, I've only posted about 85 times. I was really hoping to do better than that, after all I had 21 posts last January alone! Hopefully I can do better in 2011.

I was looking for a way to sum up this year, and stumbled upon this idea on several other blogs: Take the first sentence or two from the first post in each month of 2010 and that's your year in review. So here goes...my 2010 in blog....

January (my very first blog post): "I used to love journaling, but frankly, I just never make the time anymore. Now I love reading blogs (especially those of the "mommy" variety). So I thought this might be a good place to jot down all those random thoughts that I may want to look back on one day."

February: "The boys' Gramma has been visiting for a few days, and I've taken full advantage of having someone else around to entertain the boys for a change! I squeezed in a long overdue doctor's appointment for myself, and was also able to read 2 books, bringing my grand total to 3 books read so far this year."

March:  "Parenting is an exercise in firsts. First bath, first foods, first day of school... And this week as C turns five, we will embark on yet another first--the first "invite your whole class" birthday party."

April:  "Driving home from school yesterday... C: "Tomorrow is April First! That means it's April Fools Day, Mom!""

May:  "Due to a major water main break, we spent the last few days without drinkable tap water. Until the "boil water" order went into effect, I had never really thought about how often I use tap water." 

June: "It's been almost a month since I last posted."

July (from the one and only post): "This summer is just flying by. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but my calendar keeps insisting that next week is AUGUST!"

August: "This has been a sad week for me. On Monday I learned that one of my oldest friends passed away unexpectedly."

September: "I have suffered from insomnia with all of my pregnancies."

October: "In the last few weeks, O has gotten back into the habit of waking up around 5:45AM and often ends up crawling into bed with me and talking my ear off. While I really want to nip this in the bud before the baby comes, I've just been too tired to fight it, especially since he's generally quite adorable and always wants to talk about his little brother at this time of day."

November: "You know it's bad when...your Hubby is the one who points out that you haven't blogged in almost a month."

December: "One of C's favorite parts of Kindergarten is "Writer's Workshop" where the kids write and illustrate their own stories."

Hope I'm still blogging when it's time to ring in 2012!!!

Hope your holidays were as fun as ours!

Utterly spoiled...

First big snow of the season...

Can't wait to see what the New Year will bring...

50 Books in 2010--update #5 (I DID IT!!!!!)

That's right! I did it!!! I thought it might be impossible, but...
I really did read 50 books in 2010!!!!!!!!

I actually finished this challenge about 2 weeks ago (knowing that if I didn't, the Christmas hubbub would cause me to go permanently off course), but didn't get a chance to post about it. A lot of the credit for my finishing this challenge has to go to the Kindle that I got back in September. Having a new gadget to play with definitely reignited my interest in reading, and browsing the Amazon Kindle forums for free books and new author suggestions led me to a lot of interesting and cheap reads! I've also been taking advantage of the free samples offered on most books. It's great to be able to read the first few chapters of a book, especially if you are trying out a new author. There have been a few samples that clearly showed that the writer's style or content were not my taste, but more often than not, the sample is just enough to pique my interest so I end up buying the book. 

So without further ado, here are the rest of the books I read this year...

31. Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout

I struggled to get through this book. I picked it up because I had heard so many rave reviews about it, but I lost interest in it several times and kept putting it down for other things. It took me several months to work through it, and in the end, I only kept reading because I wanted to finish it for this challenge, not because I really cared about the characters. Perhaps it was the short stories within a story format that didn't work for me. I just never got invested in it.

32. Room: A Novel by Emma Donoghue

This was the first book I read on my Kindle!! I happened to have read a magazine review of this book that sounded fascinating the week before I got my Kindle, so I figured it would be a good first purchase. The story of a mother, and her son who has spent his whole life in one room, as the captive of a kidnapper, seemed apropos of all the recent news stories about these types of cases. Using the son as the narrator, and seeing the situation through a 5 year old's eyes was both interesting and chilling. Definitely a great read, but one that stayed with me and disturbed me for a while afterwards.

33. Half Baked by Alexa Stevenson

I've read this author's blog Flotsam, on and off for the last year or so, and much of that was about her attempts to publish this book. As a latecomer to her blog, I wasn't very familiar with her backstory of miscarriage and having a premature infant so I thought that this memoir would be interesting. And it was. Funny & poignant.

34. The Reader by Bernhard Schlink

I first heard of this book when I saw a trailer for the movie version several years ago. I have never seen the movie, but the stars Kate Winslet & Ralph Fiennes are two of my favorite actors. So when I saw the book for 50c at the library book sale, I snapped it up. I did enjoy this book, and if we ever resubscribe to Netflix, I'll have to put the film on my list too!

35. Barefoot in Baghdad by Manal Omar

I stumbled on this memoir while browsing in the Kindle forums and figured since it was less than $3 I would check it out. It turned out to be an interesting read about a Palestinian American woman's experience working for a women's nonprofit in Iraq during the early days of the current war.

36. The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak

I really enjoyed this book! This story of a young girl growing up in WWII Germany and the effect of certain books in her life, which was narrated by Death, seemed strange at first, but once I settled into Death's narration of events, it was a unique and inventive read.

37. Blue Boy by Rakesh Satyal

I've read a lot of modern Indian-American fiction over the years, but would probably never have stumbled across this book, had it not popped up as a free Kindle book for a brief period. Of course I snapped it up, because what's better than an interesting book for free! This was a cute, coming of age story of a misfit Indian preteen boy who loves dancing, makeup, and thinks he may be the reincarnation of Krishna.

38. Silent in the Grave by Deanna Raybourne

39. Silent in the Sanctuary by Deanna Raybourne

40. Silent on the Moor by Deanna Raybourne

41. Dark Road to Darjeeling by Deanna Raybourne

I discovered this series through the mysteries forum on Amazon. I was looking for a new author to start reading, and noticed that many people recommended these books featuring Lady Julia Grey, a Victorian era woman who stumbles into investigating murders, after the death of her husband. The first three books were offered as a Kindle bundle for only $9.99, which seemed like a great deal, and after enjoying the first few chapters of book one in a free sample, I didn't hesitate to buy the bundle. I raced through these books as they were fun reads with enjoyable and interesting characters. When I finished the bundle, I couldn't wait to buy the 4th book in the series, even though it cost almost as much as the first 3 books combined. Good marketing technique! It was great fun to discover a new series and I hope there will be more Lady Julia Grey books in the future.

42. Wet Desert by Gary Hansen

This book is another cheap Kindle forum find by an independent author. An interesting story of ecoterrorism against some of the major dams in the Western U.S., this book was definitely worth more than the $0.99 I paid for it!

43. The Time Hunters by Carl Ashmore

Another $0.99 Kindle indy book, this was another easy read. A time traveling mystery for children and adults alike.

44. In Cold Blood by Truman Capote

One of the first, classic true crime novels, this book was slow to start, but ended up being a satisfying read.

45. The Sex Club by LJ Sellers

This was another book I would never have bought if it hadn't been for the Kindle forums. But after reading a lot of positive reviews, I figured I would take a chance on this book since it was only $0.89. This mystery that begins with a bombing at a Planned Parenthood clinic was a quick and easy read, but I still didn't figure out all the twists ahead of time.

46. Genghis: Birth of an Empire by Conn Iggulden

47. Genghis: Lord of the Bow by Conn Iggulden

The free sample for the first of these first two books in a historical fiction series about the childhood and rise of Genghis Khan really grabbed my attention. These were well written and interesting, reading like a gripping novel. Since I didn't really know much about Genghis Khan prior to reading these books, it's been fun to learn about this time period.  Another great marketing coup for this series, since I picked up the first book in the series for $1.59 but will likely end up paying full price for the rest of the books, because I can't wait to see what happens next.

48. The Hangman's Daughter by Oliver Potzsch

I thought this book was great. Written by a descendant of a family of hangmen, in this German historical fiction novel, the town hangman attempts to save the life of one of the local midwives when she is accused of witchcraft by proving her innocence. Touching on the history of hangings, witchcraft, midwifery, and early medicine, this was a really different and satisfying read. 

49. A Simple Amish Christmas by Vanessa Chapman

Being the Christmas season, I figured I would pick up this Kindle freebie. It was an easy and fluffy read, but not particularly memorable. 

50. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

I'd heard great reviews of this book for years, but somehow had never gotten around to actually picking it up. But recently watching the PBS documentary Circus, piqued my interest in reading this circus related novel. I really wasn't expecting the graphic descriptions of sex and violence that were in this book, but the story was interesting.

Give or Take 3 weeks...

This morning, the dresser for our baby was delivered. As we only have a 2 bedroom place, C & O share a room and the dresser we bought back when C was born. The baby will be bunking with Hubby and I for the foreseeable future, and since stumbling back and forth between bedrooms for changes of clothes and sheets in the middle of the night didn't seem like the greatest idea, we needed a new small dresser for the baby's things. Luckily we have a big enough bedroom, that the baby can have his own nook. It's a bit cramped but hopefully, it will do. Today after dropping the boys off at school, I came home, stared at this view...and got a little teary eyed!  Hubby and the boys set up the crib last weekend, but now with the dresser and rocker in place, I'm really starting to feel like this might actually be happening!!

Now to wash everything and load up those drawers...

In the Holiday Spirit

It's been all holidays all the time around here. The tree is up, holiday cards have been sent, and I'm pretty much done with the holiday shopping. It's been interesting to see what the boys are learning about the holidays in school. O learned about Hanukkah at preschool last week, and was thrilled to show me the menorah he made. He also came home with a dreidel and a baggie of chocolate coins. Well, he came home with the chocolate coin wrappers at least (the coins didn't survive the car ride!).

O's Menorah

We've also started working our way through our collection of holiday books. This story was a new one this year, and has been the biggest hit for the boys. Thank goodness C can read it to O on his own, because I am getting tired of it already!  Who knew runaway cookies were so thrilling?!

Kindergarten Stories

One of C's favorite parts of Kindergarten is "Writer's Workshop" where the kids write and illustrate their own stories. Initially this started out as a simple picture with a one line caption, but in the last few weeks they have progressed to writing 3 page illustrated stories.  Today C told me about his latest one. Apparently it goes like this...


Page 1: "My mom has a rule about videogames."

Page 2: "I can only play on Friday, Saturday, Sunday."

Page 3: "I can't wait for the weekend."

I can't wait to see the pictures that go along with that one!


*          *          *
Today C mentioned that they started a dancing unit in PE class, so I asked him what kind of dances he was learning. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I figured they were just free dancing, or maybe learning  a simple line dance. I was totally caught with the giggles when he said "You know...the Macarena!" and then proceded to demonstrate it, complete with a very proud "jump turn" at the end.

Thankful

Just one of the pages from the "I am Thankful for..." book that C made in kindergarten.

I'm so thankful for them too! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

"Because I'm hungry!"

When I was growing up, my family always celebrated birthdays by having cake for breakfast. This started because it was often the only time of day that the whole family was together, but I loved it because it lent a festive atmosphere to the whole day. You have to be in a good mood at school when your belly is full of cake!

I've continued this tradition with the boys and it's still the highlight of any birthday around here. But sometimes, rather than making the morning joyful, the anticipation becomes too much and things fall apart. Hubby's birthday turned out that way this year. From the minute O woke up, he started whining that he wanted cake. And whining...and whining...and whining...until abruptly things were silent. Apparently the rest of us were taking too long to get ready, because when I went downstairs to investigate the sudden quiet, I found this...

Yup, that's a palm print...

O had managed to remove the locking cake cover and had happily dug his fingers right into the cake.

When I saw his chocolate covered face, I couldn't help but shriek "O!!!  THAT'S DADDY'S CAKE!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?!"

"BECAUSE I'M HUNGRY!!!!" he wailed back.

He's never been more lucky that he's so cute...

You know it's bad when...

...your Hubby is the one who points out that you haven't blogged in almost a month. I think he thought I was crazy to even start this blog, but I guess now he's gotten into the habit of reading it. Just as I've gotten out of the habit of writing it. Figures.

I do want to write more though, so I guess it's good that he said something. It's been hard to get motivated to do much of anything since I'm so tired all the time. Hubby keeps remarking that this pregnancy seems much harder on me than the previous ones, and he's right. I've been feeling very achy and rundown, not to mention humongous! No one can believe I still have 8 weeks left to go...

I've been using my occasional bursts of energy to tackle some nesting type activities--Christmas shopping and wrapping, sorting & washing all the baby hand-me-downs. I just feel like I've got to get all these things done in case Baby #3 makes an early appearance! I'm not sure if my contractions have really tapered off, or if I'm just used to them after having them for 5 weeks. After all the anxiety at 27 weeks, I wonder if I'll end up going all the way to my due date in January.  I do hope that's the case! But I figure it's better to be prepared.

Bored...

Ugh.

That's how I feel about things right now.

My contractions have slowed down, which is great. Thank goodness! But in order to keep them in a manageable state, I've had to really curtail my activity level. No more gym. As few errands as possible. And as much time as I can lying down on the couch. I was just starting to enjoy my 9 hours of kid free time a week, and was happily packing in as many things as possible into that time period. Now I spend that time lying down.

BORING! 

Obviously, I will do whatever it takes to keep this baby growing as long as possible, because in theory, I still have 12 weeks of pregnancy left! But it's difficult to strike the right balance. I'm not officially on bedrest but am supposed to minimize my activity and rest as much as possible. But with 2 boys who have school and activities, a Hubby who works ridiculously long hours, and only me to play chauffeur and nanny, minimal activity is not as easy as it sounds. I feel great in the mornings, but by midday, after taking the kids to school and running an errand on the way home, I am contracting by lunchtime. So far, lying down in the afternoons has been able to get them to stop, but the boys are bored. And so am I.

I could be taking the time to blog, but have been feeling just too grumpy to do so.

One good thing about all this time on the couch...I have done a lot of reading for my book challenge! I'm currently working on book #42. Maybe there is hope for this 50 books in a year thing after all?? Updated reviews of books 31-40 coming soon...

Jittery

Today we have a great day planned. C's soccer game in the morning, a birthday party for O's classmate in the afternoon, and a long awaited trip to the circus in the evening.

Unfortunately, I'm going to miss all of it.

Yesterday afternoon I was feeling lousy and started having a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions. All the usual remedies that I've used in previous pregnancies, drinking lots of water, a warm bath, and lying down, didn't stop them. So around 6pm I finally called my doctor and ended up heading into the hospital. I was quite sure they would think I was crazy when I got there, but when they hooked me up to the monitors, there I was contracting away.  Luckily, these contractions seem to be of the annoying irritable uterus variety, as opposed to the true preterm labor variety since there were no cervical changes, and my fetal fibronectin test was negative. The contractions stopped quite nicely with a couple shots of terbutaline, which was amazing, except for the fact that they left me feeling very jittery and like I was going to pass out. After a couple hours, I was able to go home, with strict instructions to take it easy and stay off my feet for the next few days. I've had a few more contractions since then, but not nearly as many as yesterday. Hopefully things will remain calm because this baby needs to stay in a lot longer!

Now I just need to find someone to work my shift tomorrow.

And does anyone want to go to the circus???

The Great Pumpkin Mystery

Over the weekend the boys and I went apple picking, and after getting their fill of the orchard, the boys were determined to find the perfect pumpkin in the pumpkin patch. I agreed that they could choose a pumpkin, but just one. After searching around for a few minutes, O settled on this one.

I was surprised when C immediately agreed that this was just the right pumpkin, as I had been expecting some bickering over this decision. But it was indeed a great choice, with a good shape, intact stem, and no major dents or soft spots. When we got home the boys proudly displayed their find on the front steps. The plan was to keep it intact until the week before Halloween, when we would finally carve it into a Jack-o-lantern.

So it was very disappointing when we went outside yesterday and discovered this...

We immediately began hypothesizing about what might have happened to our pumpkin. Had it somehow rolled off the step and been damaged? Or, more likely, was this the work of the annoying groundhog that roams brazenly through our yard, and has previously been the prime suspect in the disappearance of our tomatoes?

While I think the groundhog was indeed the culprit, I truly fell in love with O's suggestion.

"Maybe while we were sleeping, a star came down and poked our pumpkin. And then said 'Oopsie!'" 

Stud

When you've been a SAHM for 5 years, it's hard when your children go to school. You go from knowing absolutely everything about them to having huge gaps in your knowledge. Being dependent on 3 & 5 year old boys for information is difficult. After 2 years in preschool, I have C pretty well trained and he often will give me a fairly thorough report on his day. But O's response to "How was your day? What did you do today?" is always "Great! But I don't want to tell you about it." Who knew 3 year olds could already be so annoying!

So it's especially funny when I get little insights into their experience from someone else. A couple of weeks ago while dropping O off at school, one of his classmate's moms rushed over to introduce herself.

"Are you O's mom?!?" she asked eagerly.

"Yes," I said, a bit warily.

"Oh, it's so good to meet you! My daughter just loves O! She talks about him all the time, all we hear about school is "O this and O that". It's a running joke in our house that O is her boyfriend already!"

Huh??? I didn't even know who this girl was, since O never tells me anything. But sure enough, as we walked into the school, a little girl came running up "O! There you are!" and then they ran off to the classroom holding hands. I then watched as she directed O through the morning routine. "Here's your hook O! Here's your picture! Let's sign in! Now let's go play!" O followed her willingly enough.  When I asked him about this girl later, he said "Yeah, S is my friend. But I don't want to tell you about it." What is he 13 already?!?!

That evening I told Hubby all about how O has a little girlfriend at school. "Did you know that apparently O is a stud?" I asked him.

"Of course he is! That's my boy!" he said proudly. I just rolled my eyes.

*          *          *

When I was unpacking C's backpack last week, I found a painting that clearly had not been done by C.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Oh, that's a painting that a girl in my class made for me." he said.

"Oh really? That's nice. Is she your friend?" I asked.

"I guess. Everyone's my friend." C replied nonchalantly.

"Well, why did she make it for you?" I asked.

"I don't know Mom. Why not?"  He's playing it cool already.

 *          *          *

As a mom to all boys, I feel a great responsibility to make sure I raise them to be fine young men who are respectful and kind to women. I just didn't realize the girls would be after them already!

Bonding

In the last few weeks, O has gotten back into the habit of waking up around 5:45AM and often ends up crawling into bed with me and talking my ear off. While I really want to nip this in the bud before the baby comes, I've just been too tired to fight it, especially since he's generally quite adorable and always wants to talk about his little brother at this time of day. While C is also very interested in the baby, O has taken it to another level. He is so excited to finally get to be a big brother, and is always talking about all the things he is going to do with the baby. He always wants to give my tummy "gentle pats" because he is sure that these are the baby's favorite thing.  O also is always trying to see his baby through my belly button, and doesn't quite understand why this doesn't work. He was so excited when he finally got to see the baby on the ultrasound screen last week. Whenever the doppler sounds came on, he kept saying "the baby is sneezing! I hear him sneezing!"


During this morning's snuggle, I think O actually felt the baby kick for the first time. We've tried this before but he would always say "I feel it! I feel it!" when nothing was happening. This morning though, his exclamations actually seemed to match up with the baby's movements. Since this week's Babycenter pregnancy update said "The network of nerves in your baby's ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. He may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner's as you chat with each other", this morning when I got tired of all of O's "gentle pats" (which eventually trend towards not-so-gentle after all), I suggested that he try to talk to his baby brother.

I wasn't expecting them to have a whole conversation...

O speaks into my belly button: "I love you, baby!"

O presses his ear to my belly and listens intently. "I hear him! I hear him Mommy!"

Me: "Really?"

O: "Yes! He is saying "Wah wah." That means "I love you O!"

Me: "Oh, that's so nice. I am sure your little brother does love you already."

O: "Shhh! He is still saying baby talk!"

Me: "Oh, sorry."

O: "He says his favorite song is 'Real Gone!' (O's favorite song from the CARS soundtrack).

Me: "Well, he hears that everyday in the car, so I guess he might like that song."

O: "I like that song best too baby! What else do you like?"

O presses his ear against my belly again.... "He says I love O and Mommy!!"

Me: "Awww, well we love him too! O, I'm so glad you understand his baby talk! Because after he is born, you can help me understand what he wants."

O replies very seriously: "Mommy, when he is crying and he is wet, that means he needs a diaper. And when he is not wet, that means he needs a baby bottle. And then I am going to carry him to the table and feed him!"

O listens to my belly intently again. "He said "That's right!"

I'm glad he's already got it all figured out.

Birthday Deep Thoughts

The night before...

Hubby: "Where should we go for Mommy's birthday?"
C: "Well, we have to go to my soccer, and then how about we just come home."
Hubby: "Don't you think we should go out and do something else for Mommy's birthday?"
C: "OK, fine...(sigh)...How about Disney World?"

Now that's what I'm talking about!!!!!! Too bad we don't live anywhere near there!


*         *         *

6:22 AM on the big day...

O: "Happy Birthday Mommy!"
Me: "Thanks..."
O: "What?"
Me: "(Yawn) Uh, Mommy kind of wanted to sleep later on her birthday."
O: "But.......No."

*          *          *

Well Hubby came through (as he does every year) and helped the boys make me a delicious cake. C gave him specific instructions and an illustration to make sure the heart cake came out exactly right.

 
I  think Hubby captured C's vision quite well.

*         *          *
The boys were very excited to give me my present...something that may just help me achieve this 50 books a year challenge! We'll see...

I chose Room: A Novel by Emma Donoghue as my first e-read. So far so good! Now if only the boys would stop climbing all over me to push the buttons, I might make some progress.

50 Books in 2010--update #4 (38 weeks, 30 books)

Oy! I am really falling behind in this book challenge!

It was harder to get a chance to sit down and read during the summer than I thought it would be. I envisioned lots of lazy afternoons where I could read in the backyard while the boys frolicked around. And the boys did indeed do a good amount of frolicking. The problem? They wanted to me to watch closely while they did it! So after a whole afternoon, I'd usually be only 4-5 pages further along in my book. Hopefully I can play catch up now that I'm getting back into the routine of school, waiting in pickup lines, going to the gym, etc. There are lots of brief, hidden moments for reading, and I just need to capture them. Because finishing another 20 books this year is going to be a tall order!

C already said "It's OK, Mom! You can just do the challenge again next year!" Somehow, I think Baby #3 might be a little disruptive to that plan. While I definitely want to keep reading more frequently, next year may not be the best year for a challenge like this one. We'll see...

At any rate, here are my thoughts on books 21-30.

21. The Thief Lord by Cornelia Funke
I had never heard of this book before, but I picked it up for 50c at the local library's book sale. Can't beat that price! It was an easy but slightly strange read about a band of children who discover a mystical secret.

22. The Summons by John Grisham
I think I've read all of John Grisham's books over the years, and I've found that I don't enjoy them as much as I used to. I'm not sure if that's because I've personally moved on from this genre, or if they aren't as original as they used to be. Another easy read, but not one that was particularly satisfying. Honestly, I can barely remember the plot at this point.

23. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot
This book was wonderful! An interesting look at the scientific and social history behind the development of HeLa cells, one of the most commonly used cell lines in research today. I think this book would be an interesting read for anyone, not just people with a scientific background like mine. 

24. The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson
The final book in the Swedish trilogy that I discovered through this year's challenge.  A satisfying wrap up to the series, but I still think I enjoyed the first book, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo the best.

25. Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks
A fictional account of one English village's experience with the plague. An easy read, but I didn't enjoy it as much as People of the Book, a book by the same author that I read earlier this year.

One of the hardest things about this challenge has been figuring out what to read! There are tons of books that are interesting, but which to choose? When I saw a book list on The Underwear Drawer, a medical blog that I've been following for several years, the problem was solved, for a few weeks anyway! I picked up the next three books on this list based on her recommendation, and thoroughly enjoyed them all. I've always loved medical nonfiction and these are three good ones.

26. The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down by Anne Fadiman
A fascinating exploration of the clash between Hmong and medical cultures and a good reminder to always be mindful of the many influences that exist in each doctor-patient encounter.

27. Complications: A Surgeon's Notes on an Imperfect Science by Atul Gawande
Very easy to read, thought provoking, and well written. I will have to look into more of his books.

28. Walk on Water: The Miracle of Saving Children's Lives by Michael Ruhlman
Another great read, delving into the world of congenital heart disease, as experienced by both physicians and families. This book was a particularly interesting read for me as I had a congenital heart defect, and I've actually personally met or heard a great deal about several of the physicians referenced in this book. 

29. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
I was so excited for this book that I preordered it, and raced through it as soon as it arrived. I think I need to actually sit down with it again and read it through more slowly to really process it. This is the final book in the Hunger Games trilogy, another set of books I would never have discovered if it weren't for suggestions I got through this book challenge.  The Hunger Games remains my favorite of the three, if only for how mind blowing the whole concept was.

30. Girl with a Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier
Another find for 50c at the library book sale! I don't know much about art, but I have heard of Vermeer and this painting, so it was fun to read this fictional account of how it was produced. I generally enjoy historical fiction, and this was a satisfying read.

*       *        *

If only I could count all the books I've read with the boys over the last month! I'd be well over 50 by now. We've discovered a new "easy reader" section at the library, filled with all sorts of great books. The boys especially like Cynthia Rylant's series "Mr. Putter and Tabby", "High Rise Private Eyes", and "Henry & Mudge". I'm also having fun introducing them to books that I remember fondly from when I was young like "Miss Nelson is Missing" and "Rotten Ralph." I love seeing the excitement in their eyes when we come home with a pile of new books because I always felt that same thrill on library day when I was a kid!

Birthday Cake

Conversation in the car...

C: "Mom! Mom! What kind of cake do you want for your birthday?"

Me: "Oh, I don't know. What do you think?"

C: "How about a heart cake?"

Me: "A heart shaped cake?"

C: "Yeah! Because you love us!"

Me: "That's nice...but how about it's a heart shaped cake because YOU love me?"

C: "Ok...that too. Good! So you can make a heart cake for your birthday!"

Me: "Wait a minute! I have to make my own birthday cake? I'm not going to make my own cake."

C: "But who else is going to make it? We don't know how to cook."

O: "Yeah, mom. We don't know how to make a cake."

Me: "What about Dad? Dad could help you make a cake."

C: "I think Dad's too busy for that. You can just make your own cake."

O: "Yeah! A heart cake...because you love us!"

Indeed I do...but why is that again???

The Future...

A conversation during bath time this evening...

C: "Hey Mom! I'm more than half way to 10!"

Me: "That's true. But don't rush to being 10. Let's just enjoy being 5."

C: "Why?"

Me: "Well, I don't want you to rush to grow up! Because now is so much fun! And eventually you'll get really big and grow up and move away, and then I'll miss you."

O: "But then you can still take care of me and the baby! And that will make you happy, right Mom?"

Me: "Right! But I hope C will still come and visit even when he's grown up. That would be nice too."

C: "Maybe..."
"...but I might forget where you live."

How to make an Apple Pie...

Step 1: Go apple picking! Insist on using the ladders even though there are tons of apples easily within reach while on the ground.

Step 2: Fight with your brother about whether to make apple pie or banana bread, even though your mom already went out and bought all the fixings for homemade pie crust, but has no ripe bananas.

Step 3: Agree to make an apple pie when your mom threatens to cancel baking altogether.

Step 4: Eagerly help mix flour, salt and shortening for the dough.

Step 5: Lose interest all together and go watch TV while your mom peels, cores, and slices lots of apples.

Step 6: Return when it is time to mix the apple slices with cinnamon, sugar, and nutmeg. This part smells good!

Step 7: Inform your mom of the many ways she is rolling out the crust wrong. Remind her that the recipe calls for making a "lattice crust" with one inch strips of dough, and ask "But Why?!!" a thousand times when she says that's too hard.

Step 8: Load the filling into the imperfect pie crust.

Step 9: Humor your mom and tell her that perhaps the regular pie crust will turn out OK, even though you really wanted the lattice crust.

Step 10: Whine about how hungry you are and ask "Is the pie ready yet??" every 30 seconds for the next hour, until your mom finally takes it out of the oven.

Step 11: Whine for the next 20 minutes about how you don't want to wait for the pie to cool!

Step 12: Dig into a big slice of pie at 4 in the afternoon and completely spoil your dinner.

Step 13: Talk with your mouth full. Your mom won't mind since you're yelling, "Do I like it? Yes I do!" and "Thanks Mom!"

Five minutes later, ruin the post-pie bliss by pushing your brother into the edge of the table, so that he gets a big goose egg.

Winding Down

Since the boys have now started school, summer is officially winding down. I know there are still technically a couple weeks left, but I always feel that once school starts, fall is here! We've done most of the things on our "Summer Adventures" list, and since we'll be busy with school and our fall extracurricular activities, I don't think we'll cross off anything else.

1. Move (yikes!)
2. Explore all of the playgrounds in our new neighborhood (not sure if we've hit them all, but we've been to at least 4!)
3. Take a family vacation
4. Swimming lessons
5. Join the library's summer reading program and read, read, read
6. Go Strawberry Picking
7. Go Blueberry Picking
8. Go on a Treasure Hunt in the Woods
9. Have a beach day
10. Go to a minor league baseball game
11. Go to a local racetrack and see a real car race
12. Play Minigolf
13. Bowling
14. Go for a hike
15. Visit local Children's Museum
16. Visit local Science Museum
17. Visit local Aquarium
18. Go to preseason football game
19. Visit Gramma and Grampa
20. Visit the local farm
21. Visit Zoo
22. Host BBQ  

The weather was really beautiful this summer, unlike last year when weeks on end were rainy and cold. So I didn't really feel like taking the boys for indoor adventures. I think we'll save those for the fall. Bowling & Museums here we come!

And don't forget apple and pumpkin picking. I think fall will be pretty fun too!

Big Day!

Today was the first day of school for both boys. They both woke up early and were dressed and ready to go about 20 minutes before we needed to leave. I need to figure out how to make this last through the dregs of winter, when getting out the door always becomes a nightmare.

C is clearly comfortable after two years in school, and was happy to be left on his own to check out his new classroom. O was thrilled to go to school for the first time, and I thought that he would have an easy transition since he went to camp over the summer.  I was very surprised when he dissolved into tears when it was actually time for me to say goodbye. I guess the difference is that his brother was at camp with him, and this time he was really on his own. I left feeling like a terrible mom, but was reassured by the huge grin I saw at pickup, and the eager chatter about books, snacks, and art.

I can't believe that I have a kindergartener and a preschooler! 

I'm excited for them, but do wish they weren't quite so eager to head off away from me...

Can't time slow down just a little?

Body Parts

O studies my belly intently.

Me: "Are you looking at the baby?"
O: "Yes. Where's his foot?"
Me: "I'm not sure. Where do you think it is?"
O: "I think it's here!" (poking me in the side)
Me: "Maybe! Where do you think his head is?"
O: "Hmmm....maybe over here." (poking my other side).
"But I know his bum is here!" (poking the lowest part of my belly).
Me: "Really?"
O: "Yes. So he can poop on the floor!!!"

Sigh. Why does it always come back to poop?

Insomnia

I have suffered from insomnia with all of my pregnancies. I am always tired and can fall asleep quickly, but if I wake up in the middle of the night, it takes hours for me to fall back to sleep. Between Hubby coming to bed late because he fell asleep watching TV on the couch, having to pee, or one of the boys waking up, it seems that almost every night I am wide awake around 3-4AM. It's very quiet at that time of night...except for my brain, which, once awakened, seems unable to shut up.

Tonight I was sound asleep until I heard O crying in panic at 4AM. I had forgotten to turn on the hallway night light, which caused him a great deal of distress. "WAAAAH, Mommy!! It was too dark and I didn't know where the door was!!" He's now sound asleep with Hubby in our bed, and after 30 minutes of lying awake staring at the ceiling, I gave up trying to fall asleep again and came downstairs. Might as well do something productive with my time, like making lists of the phone calls I need to make when it's a more reasonable hour, what C & O each need for the first day of school, etc.

I've been feeling very stressed these last couple of weeks because both boys are starting new schools this year. C is heading off to kindergarten, and O will be going to preschool for the first time. Because C has a significant dairy allergy, any transition like this is very scary for me and most of my recent insomnia has involved worrying "what-ifs". I had grown confident and comfortable with his care at preschool, and it is hard to start again with new teachers and staff.  The lateness of class assignments hasn't helped my worries. It was only yesterday that I was finally able to meet his new teacher and speak with the school nurse! They both seem very nice and receptive to working with me to keep him safe in the classroom, so that is reassuring, but we will see how it all irons out once school starts. I haven't been worrying too much about O starting school since he seems ready for a new experience, he is going to C's old school, where I already feel comfortable, and so far he has no known food allergies. All of which are good things. But then I feel midnight "mommy guilt" that I am spending so much time trying to get things in order for C and I haven't really given O's transition much thought at all. With myself, I just can't win.

I keep hoping that once the boys settle into school, I'll be able to settle back into sleeping well. But if history is any indicator, I'll be suffering from this early morning waking for the rest of this pregnancy. Perhaps my body is just getting me ready for all those midnight wakings with a new baby. I guess that's not a bad thing.

But really, I'd rather get some sleep.

20 weeks

Halfway through! I don't feel that big, but after taking some belly shots this weekend, I realized that I am getting kind of huge already. I guess that's what happens when it's your third.

How cute is little C in that second picture?!?!?

Did you know that at 20 weeks: "Your baby has grown as big as a banana. (Length: about 6 1/2 inches from head to bottom, and 10 inches from head to heel.)" My boys are obsessed with the site "Poppy seed to Pumpkin" and eagerly look forward to checking how big their baby is each week. Having already passed through a variety of beans, lemons, limes, tomatoes, and peppers, they can't wait for the mini-watermelon and pumpkin. Yikes, I don't even want to think about how big I'll be in January!

Great Expectations

I picked up a new journal last week.

I've written in the same journal two times before.

The first was quite full, the second had some more blank pages.

I'm not sure how the third will turn out, but I hope it will end up with more pages filled out than not.

If feeling lucky and grateful were all that were needed, the book would be written already.

Gone too Soon...

This has been a sad week for me. On Monday I learned that one of my oldest friends passed away unexpectedly. He was the youngest son of my mother's best friend and was the closest thing I have to a brother. Born in the same year, we truly grew up together. I went to his house after school every day. I have many fond memories of being forced to watch He-Man and G.I. Joe, which wouldn't have been my cartoons of choice, but were still a treat, since I wasn't allowed to watch TV at home. Then there were the Skipbo tournaments, swimming at the lake, and the ski trips where he was always much more of a daredevil than I.  Even though I hadn't seen him often in the past 10 years, as life had taken us in different directions, he was still always a part of my consciousness because he was "family." I frequently heard updates about him and his family through my mother, and on the occasions where we were able to get together, my boys just loved playing with him and his young son.

Yesterday was his funeral service, and though I am not a public crier, even I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I was so touched by how many people he was loved by and had freely loved. One of the most beautiful parts of the service was when his wife read some excerpts from his journals. Apparently in recent years, he had always carried a notebook around to jot down thoughts, and much of what was in there was descriptions of days with his son. In fact, my two boys remember him as "the guy with the notebook!" because when we last saw him earlier this summer, he let them play with it. Unbeknownst to me, he had also let them write in it. I learned this at his wake, when his wife told me that when she was flipping through his journal this week, she saw the names of C & O where C had printed them.  In the excerpt she read aloud, he described seeing a firetruck with his son and dipping their toes in a pond. Transmitted clearly through every word was his pure enjoyment of fatherhood and pride in his son. What a gift it will be for his family, to be able to turn to his actual words for comfort and memories.

All of this got me to thinking about how important journaling can be, not just for your own soul, but for those around you. As I said when I started this blog months ago, I used to love to journal, but never find the time anymore. I had hoped that the online format would make it easier for me to keep up, but it was still hard to find the time. But I am going to try to recommit to it now. Even if my boys never read what I write here, I want to be able to come back and relive all those little memories that I would otherwise forget. Because simple things like firetrucks and wet toes are what life is all about. And I want to make sure I remember that.

Keeping busy! (Just not with this blog...)

This summer is just flying by. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but my calendar keeps insisting that next week is AUGUST! Already?!?! Big changes are coming in September with C going to kindergarten and O starting preschool, and I don't want to get there yet.

Our summer has been fun, if a bit lazy. The boys started a month's worth of daily swimming lessons, so most of our days consist of a leisurely morning at home, swim lessons, home for lunch, and then a leisurely afternoon at home, or the occasional return to the pool for more swimming fun. After a tearful first 3 days, O discovered that "I love swimming, Mommy!" Thank goodness!

We have fit in a few other things, and are having fun checking off our Summer Adventures List.

1. Move (yikes!)
2. Explore all of the playgrounds in our new neighborhood
3. Take a family vacation
4. Swimming lessons
5. Join the library's summer reading program and read, read, read
6. Go Strawberry Picking
7. Go Blueberry Picking
8. Go on a Treasure Hunt in the Woods
9. Have a beach day
10. Go to a minor league baseball game
11. Go to a local racetrack and see a real car race
12. Play Minigolf
13. Bowling
14. Go for a hike
15. Visit local Children's Museum
16. Visit local Science Museum
17. Visit local Aquarium
18. Go to preseason football game
19. Visit Gramma and Grampa
20. Visit the local farm
21. Visit Zoo
22. Host BBQ 

 We still have quite a few things we want to accomplish, so we'd better get moving!